A Raging Battle

      I am on a new journey in a Bible study with Proverbs 31 Ministries. We are currently doing "Made To Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst and the blog hop day has arrived. This is the reason for my Title today of A Raging Battle.  Although this book is inspired by the need to conquer over indulgence in food it is also about many things we could be craving . Food is only one of the things we have as a source of comfort or expression in this life we live.
   The study is still in early start so I am only at the second chapter but am seeing the point that we are made by God to crave. As I look at the made to crave idea  and I am asked the question in this suggested blog post title,  " What other things do you currently crave more than God?" , I am reminded of a sermon I heard at church recently that suggested some things we can want more of than God. So I think God has new insight he wants me to gain. My struggle is that I am in a battle right now and it is more about depression than craving food or material things. I don't even want to have friends fill my empty places or to satiate my heart felt  deep need for a change. I am pondering what I might be craving, or giving place to more than Desiring God.
  If you have ever felt depressed for any length of time then you know that it is not that you desire to be in this place. I desire out !! I crave freedom and a way out of this. I feel so helpless to rise up out and into a place of life with out this emotional struggle. I need to say that in this place of craving for being set free from my depression I am taking active steps for healing. I know some think it is a mindset and you just need to get up and walk away from your depression but this is not the case. This all leads me to think of the lame man who sat at the pool of Bethesda and how he had his lameness for 38 years and watched as many were able to get help into the pool of water the angel stirred so that when people who needed healing got in first, they were made well.( John 5: 1-9.  I suggest you read this for yourself as it is rewarding to read God's word . )
   So at this point in my pondering I am brought back to the Made To Crave Battle : What do I crave more than God? I crave wellness ! I, like the lame man, am unable to heal myself and I have tried and am seeking for help medically and spiritually. I am sure this lame man cried out for help around him to get to the water first so he could receive the healing. He may even have had some one promise to get him there the next time the waters were stirred by the angel and for some reason they were not around at the stirring. What did Jesus want for this lame man? What does Jesus want for, and from me? Jesus himself came to this man and asked him: "Do you want to be made well?" And of course his answer was he needed help to get there but no one was there for him. He knew he could not  get himself there in time for the first of the waters stirrings.  Some one always beat him to it. So when it comes to cravings do we have a part in the deliverance from them? I believe we do. We all crave some thing in this life. Jesus tells this lame man : "Rise, take up your bed and walk." So simple! Such simple words He speaks to this man who has craved healing for 38 years . What was the point to this 38 years of waiting and craving? Of need?
  Cravings lead us to God and our need in no other but him. So if we are made to crave by God for the sole purpose of His filling that craving we have only to keep crying out to Him . Like the lame man of John 5 , we know that our craving is not always immediately taken away by crying out to others or even having some one or some thing to fill us(help us). The things we use to fill the cravings make a huge impact on us but do not deliver the filling we need. When the lame man was asked by Jesus "Do you want to be made well?" The lame man gave his answer and so did Jesus. The lame man had to make a decision to believe and get up and do as he was told. The Bible tells us the man did, that he was made well, and he knew it, took up his bed and walked.
 So what do I crave ? I crave healing and wellness and I can see I desire it more than Jesus . I am crying out and I am seeking a filling that I cannot bring for myself by the craving of it. I need to crave Jesus so much that even if I were called to struggle in a life of clinical depression that keeps me stuck by the pool waiting for healing, I see  Jesus is the answer. I know this last part might not make sense that depression could be part of the calling of Christ but I do know that In this place I cry out to Jesus and that it holds me at his feet many times. I know that I pray for others in a way I never did before and that God can use a time of being down to bring us to the real place of understanding our need to crave. I need to crave the only one who can fill my needs with His great and awesome blessings that do not leave us wanting more. Well, only the wanting of more of Him .
  Lord Jesus,
 We are made to crave you and all that you are. I thank you that you see me in the condition I am in and that you see I have been seeking wellness and healing more than you. In reality I want what you can give me with out the connection or the work that maybe involved to get to the heart of this craving that brings deliverance. I thank you Jesus that you love me enough to take me to this place so you can show me how wonderful you are and how you made me to want more of you. Forgive me for trying to feed my craving for wellness and not seeking more of you. Thank you for the wellness that comes with your presence and the filling up of my spirit as I lean into you and wait upon you in what ever state I am in. In Jesus I stand well no matter the amount of days I sit by the pool watching others receive their healings. amen.